Archive | August, 2011

Make someone smile today.

31 Aug

When someone trails off with “I want to take…”
take the liberty of finishing them off with “A bong rip?”

Feel good karma of the day, check.

Image 30 Aug

IF you found us a Kiwi beauty job I might marry you twice.

KIDDING.

I will definitely marry you twice. 

And how observant we are, my fabulous glossed-up birthday card love from my Kiwie Wifie. Love you, thanks a trillion for you doing you the best. You do you better than anyone I’ve ever met, mean it!

And here you go, reading this kind of crap book about three 28 year olds who leave their magazine jobs in NYC and go traveling ‘round the world aka Peru-Brazil-Kenya-India-Thailand-Laos-Vietnam (yuck)-Australia-New Zealand. Right. It’s cute but no DRAMA. No FUNK. It’s good old plain Jane. Could for sure use a touch of gloss. I’ll go so far as to say it could use a tube of gloss, maybe even a 6-pack sampler of gloss. And it’s written with too many beautifully verbal descriptive adjectives in particularly detailed explained sentences. A review explains it perfectly:

The writing style really annoyed me, especially when they laid it on thick. I know it’s a travel log and they want to be descriptive, but the authors frequently over did it (along the lines of, “I sipped my steaming, bitter, hot coffee from the shiny white plastic top that had been tightly placed on top of the thick cardboard cup by the boyish barista who was wearing a bright green apron with dark stains on the front.”).

Which I find quite hilair as I’m reading through it’s 544 pages. Truth. Bali up next…

27 Aug

Is that a princess card and an origins bag I spy in the background? How perceptive of us, taking in all these small details. I am glad you are minting up your chops with the yummiest, sexiest product available. Speaking of lip products, I think I found a place for us to make beauty products in kiwi land as a workaway. And speaking of chops, I invented the best s’more this morning for breakfast after being served a toasted marshmallow in bed/tent by my man on the Washington coast. The peanut butter s’more with peanut butter m and m’s is nigella approved. Stay tuned for the coastal community oatmeal recipe for the impromptu backpacking campers (that’s right, I really backpacked!) and proposal for kiwi glamping. I think we should buy a car and name her kiwi Bambi….or Sheila. Shambie. Okay, tootles. P.s. Also stay tuned for this week’s recreation of the Bali magic moment.

Image 27 Aug

Because I couldn’t stop fantasizing about your Tart after the San Diego Airport. CHEERS!!! xxo

Image 21 Aug

Feast. I almost pounced this chick’s beach blanket belly bingo this afternoon . No I am not baby crazy (please), I am hot-pregs-chicks crazy (yes please). I have been pregnant-crazy since I was 13 and had my first pregnant dream. My 5th grade math teacher delivered my baby on my desk, thanks for asking. And it was not creepy. It was okay. Like tingly joyful okay.  And this. THIS is my oasis in the flesh. The blonde, the glow, the white bikini, the skinny, the watermelon, the signing invitations at the beach (for some probable cute-ass baby shower next Sunday, she’ll be wearing a rayon white sun dress and rattan wedges). I’ll even take the fedora, against my will of course. I want/will be this in, like, let’s give it 5 years okay? Because I don’t want to be THAT old, but still pretty and lively.  Goals, BOOM.

Love,

Shimmer T(its)

x

Image 20 Aug

Full Moon Flashback! Coming up next: Shimmer Tits (I hope you don’t mind that I’ve tacked that on as one of your pet names)  is going to tell us why it’s a terrible idea to get a glowing tattoo on Ko Phanang Island (yes, I’m sure I spelled that wrong).  It involves magic, mushrooms, cliffs, crazy, Irish, and boys. 

Image 16 Aug

Dear Shimmer T(its),

If you every end up on Vashon Island, I highly recommend shopping at Granny’s Attic and eating Indian food in the tiny downtown.  However, if you lose your key in your trunk in a bag full of books, scarves, seashells, and a $6 19-piece tea-set, don’t expect the Vashon granolas to pick you up whilst hitch-hiking, even in the shortest of short with the prettiest of ladies.  Also, don’t forget to take the Indian leftovers out of your backpack…Indian food backpack is not a delicious scent.